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This is ridiculous…. is 1.30am… I was already asleep since 9pm and I’m supposed to be resting as I need to wake up early like 5.30am for an event, but I was suddenly awaken by a sudden dream and thought.

Next thing I knew, I switched on my lap top and went to youtube.com and type in “Where do I go”  and I found the following, a song that i never hear before, and a singer that I never knew exists… yet she sing out my thoughts, my feelings and my soul….

Click below  to listen to the song…..  lyrics included in the video and below….

Where do I go- Marie Digby

Twenty-thousand miles from the place I call home
Twenty somewhat years since the day I was born
And I’m searching
I’m still searching for answers
People often told me to choose a different road
This one can get ugly
Twist and turns to just grow old but I’m walking
I don’t care if I’m walking alone

[CHORUS]
And I’m screaming into the dark
Searching for an answer
Where do I go from here

I, I don’t know where I’m headed
Or if this is just a big mistake
But something’s telling me
That falling down is a chance
I’ll just have to take

And I, I’ll get on the bus
And put down my bags
And take a final glance
At the only home I’ve known
At the only hold I’ve ever known

[CHORUS]
And I’m screaming into the dark
Searching for an answer
Where do I go from here

All of my life
I’ve been so comfortable
But I always knew
That there’d come a day
Where I’d have to get out
Get out

[CHORUS]
I’m screaming into the dark
Searching for an answer
Where do I go from here
Here

And I’m standing still
But I can’t catch my breath
Or running fast as I can
But going nowhere
Where do I go from here

ok…. I think I better go back and catch some sleep…. nitez…

Did anyone realise that in life, we are always making choices?? I mean it is not a secret at all, right?

However, in recent time, I managed to realise (more deeply)  that having the ability to make choice is actually a privilege and it does gives one the power to choose and a chance to create or do something different.

It has been exactly a month since I left the place that I was so fond of.  In this 30 days, lots of choices have been made. Some are small and some are BIG, and every single choices comes with its own consequences.

Like for example, making the choice to stay up late to watch the world cup and getting in return, the consequences of dark eyes ring and mum’s nagging. Or, choosing to agree to help a friend out of my own time and commitment as a surety so that she can embark on her future career or on a pessimistic consequence of her breaking the bond and I need to be responsible for it.

Whatever is the “decision”  made or the “choice” made as it is known in this post, one stills haves the power to make a difference. And the other thing about what makes making a choice so powerful is that it takes COURAGE, to make a choice.

Sometime people make choices because of the known possible consequences but there are also times where you don’t know what’s the consequence and still make that choice and to me the latter is terrifying and it takes lots courage as well. 

I’m currently am at this stage where fear for the future and the unknown is wanting to consume me (for a month and ongoing), however, at the same time, the space that I have now let me know that I’m open to choices. I have in me the power to make a difference to my own life because I have the privilege to have choices and I’m really thankful for that.

The next step, is to really to get/build that courage to make that choice for me to move on.  When will the decision comes? Honestly, I got no answer to that. But what I know is that, at least today,  I have make a choice  to put my slacker-life and a month of resting to an end and this choice has unknowingly develop my courage and confidence a little be more.